Thursday, August 5, 2010

Cravings. Arse kickers.

Wanna know what a girl about to embark on a nutritional journey craves?  Well, I guess the pic is a dead give away.  Here's the kicker.... Ask me how many time a year I eat buffalo wings?  Go ahead... Keep guessing, I'll wait.....  Uh huh... Yeah, you'll probably not guess "<1 times a year", I'm assuming. If you did, congrats- you know me!

Every once in a blue moon I eat buffalo wings, but wouldn't you know it, the time I think to myself: "Self, what are you going to miss the most while you embark on this journey?" I responded, to myself of course, WINGS!  Buffalo Wings!

Crazy talking to yourself woman say what?  That's some sort of silliness right there... But, I guess it's a funny thing when you realize you can't have anything you want, you start to yearn for things you didn't even really like in the first place!  Damn psyche.  It'll get you every time.

Well, peeps, it's true... I'm embarking on a nutritional journey.  While I LOOOOOOVE the unattractive awesome ability to look 6 months pregnant at any given time, I say it's HIGH TIME I figure out, again, what exactly my body/tummy doesn't like. There's a little more to this, but, that is a great benefit that I am focusing on.  Foods that tend to be in the "Inflammatory" category. Kabillions of people eat these foods daily, and well, I am sure that many of them don't swell up and end up doubled over in pain.  Then there are the usual culprits of "less than desirable" health issues, and well, why not cut those babies out too?  I'm a "just to see if I can" type of person.  Now, the next time my kids shove an entire bag of cotton balls down the drain, I'll remember, "Oh yes, you are MY offspring" Who doesn't like a game of "Just to see what happens"... This "Bill Nye The Science Guy"  loving girl finds that to be a perfectly good way to spend a bit of time.

So, without further ado.... 

For ONE week, I will NOT consume any of the following:

Sugar, Honey, Syrup, High Fructose Corn Syrup

Sugar Alcohols, Sorbitol, Mannitol, Xylitol or Malitol

Artificial sweeteners including stevia 


Caffeine (Green Tea being the only exception)

Fruit Juice

Yeast, fermented foods like vinegar





Beef, Pork, Lamb

Nightshades: Tomatoes, Potatoes, Eggplant, Bell Peppers


All Flour products

Processed/Box Foods


Okay, the last one I added.. but that's kinda what it feels like.  Granted, a fair amount on this list are things I don't eat alot of anyhow, but still...... there are some arse kickers in here.

But Deanna, what will you eat? Yes, that was me asking myself a question... because that is kinda what went through my head!

Well, without further ado....

I can ENJOY:


Fish- NON-predatory only

Organic Chicken

Fresh or Frozen NON citrus fruit, ideally BERRIES only

Fresh Veggie Broth (homemade with a bunch of goodness like rutabagas, knobs of ginger, radish root and greens, dried shitake, plus some "normal"'s actually tasty...)

Legumes, Beans

Brown Rice

Nuts (no peanuts)

Ground Flaxseed

Lemons (for h2o)

Yup... oddly enough the list for what I can ENJOY is a wee bit smaller... but, fear not. This isn't some sort of uncharted territory for me, I've eaten from this small of a list before.... It doesn't bother me, really and after about 2 days I am thanking myself for taking the plunge.  And after about 8-10 days I am really wanting a caprese salad! BUT, what happens in the week that I explore only a super clean diet is I rid myself of alot of unwanted "inflammation", toxins and ideally some habits I've picked up along the way. I can generally avoid bad habits if life is "cool".. but alot of the time life isn't cool.  SO, I have devised a plan for those "uncool" times... FOOD will not be the outlet. The "Typical American Diet" WILL seem like something I'd only do if I was forced and I can now happily embark on a journey of clean eating while I plan my very short sabbatical from it, ON OCCASION.  I'll slowly reintroduce various things, not too much though (ideally not the corn syrup, refined sugars) back into my diet.  This will ALL come to a screeching halt as soon as there is some holiday where I might want to enjoy turkey, mashers and gravy!!!  The ONLY difference, I am hoping for THIS time is that I can fall off the wagon and not lie next to said wagon, flopping like a fish, in rehab waiting for my next fix. Of gravy!  This is the norm....  I do hope that I can, in a very lady like fashion, step off the wagon, sit down to a traditional meal of buffalo wings and beer and then quietly get back on the wagon..... I do SOOOO well, for SOOOOO long... then BOW! Anyhow, I regress.....

I'll also bathe in an "Ultra Bath" of Epsom salt, baking soda and lavender oil daily.  Oh, and I can enjoy "shakes" made of rice protein powder, flax, berries, h2o and almond butter.

It's drastic to some, a daily occurrence to others.. none the less, it becomes 2 weeks of my life starting this month... sometime this month.  Soon.  

Right after a trip to Wild Wings.

And the liquor store.


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