Monday, August 23, 2010

Hitting the ground running!

If you know me, you know I LOVE to jump into things.  Except the lake.  I am more than convinced that things like this live right below the surface:

See? I know! You aren't going in lakes anymore, right? I can see it now, "Home Blogger instills fear in millions, Lake Powell sees 75% drop in visitors." What's funny is that less than a million people read this blog, and the few that do probably do NOT share my fear of lake scum mutated piranhas.

Anyhow, other than lakes, deep oceans and shallow ends of pools, I dive into things.  It's probably because I will lose interest very very quickly if I don't keep the excitement going, implement the idea, continue seeking the answer, ect.

Well, the one thing that I don't dive into, not because I'll lose interest, but because I'm always kinda wading in it anyhow, is my faith.  That's never absent. Maybe it's not always apparent or "out there", but that's sometimes a good thing.  I think I get a little "Tazmainian Devil" like with my "God is Great" schpeel.  And really, no one wants that.  I wasn't blessed with an eloquent way to talk about God.  I get all puffy eyed and start crying, my hands fly around, I spurt out a bunch of basics about Christianity that EVERYONE knows, I'll sob heavily after sharing one or two things He's done in my life and then say "Hey, you should come to a bible study with me." And they all say "Uh, yeah, I'll do that."

But, I feel a little like I've been out of the water, baking, drying out in the hot and humid weather of life and just now realized that it's way COOLER in the water! So, I'll dive back in.  When I do this with my faith, I get FREAKED out because, well... I hear a voice. You know who's voice too. His. It doesn't come in the form of a James Earl Jones type voice saying "Deanna, adopt 17 orphans...."  No, it comes when I close my eyes.  It looks like a ticker across the bottom of the TV screen.  And I know the difference between MY words and HIS.  I can EASILY make ANYTHING happen or feel like "it was meant to be"- we all have that ability.  But, His words are simple.  Mine are not.  Remember, I can't tell a short story.  I have commentary, addendums, adjectives galore!  He just has directives: Just do what you do.  Love more, think less. My plan, my will. Trust me. Trust yourself for I made you perfect, if only in my eyes.

It's usually so simple, I can't mistake it for my own.

So, when I start listening, better yet, reading, what the plan for my life is I freak out, because while the words are simple, the plan never is. So, usually I go on ignoring the hard parts.  What? Like you've never dodged a task!

I'm at a place where the excuses are lessened, the road is clear of debris, my senses have been sharpened to the see those that hinder me and my heart washed of fears that restrained me. However, it feels like I am without shoes, without a map.  I have everything in me I need to start the journey, but the walk won't be comfortable and I don't like to do things that make me uncomfortable!

Sigh........... Someone get me my shoes. And a GPS. I'm ready this time, but we're gonna have to go slow. 


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